1. Tight, starchy, uncomfortable pants – Allows zero mobility
2. Silly hipster hat – Protects head against nothing
3. Toy Ax with dull blade – Just in case you want others to know you have never lifted an axe your 6. Boots with too many damn laces – Good for stepping in shit
7. Itchy ass shirt – Because it matches that fucking hat
p.s. we still love you Matt