Jun 27, 2014

What hipsters are calling their babies

Hipsters are trying to stay ahead of the norm by coming up with original ideas like BABY NAMES. Some of these names are just sad. Pandora?? How about name your baby Spotify and call it good. Then you think of Zane?? Who in their right mind would ever name their child Zane. Heh Heh.

See link here:

Apr 29, 2014


Now this is my kind of woman. 
"There’s a whole generation running around looking like lumberjacks, and most of you can’t change a fucking tire."

Apr 28, 2014

Laura Gibson breaks Oregon Health Care website?

Oregonians spend 248 million tax dollars on a non-functioning website https://www.coveroregon.com/
and a Laura Gibson video that supposedly cost 3 million dollars. Looks like i need to learn Ukulele.

Apr 23, 2014

Hipster Bandit Finally Caught

The American Apparel Bandit is finally caught. I think you need a mask instead of a Fedora buddy.

Apr 16, 2014

22 Most Hipster Foods in your city

Hipsters love to stick to the basic four food groups. Pabst, donuts, coffee and Whole Foods vegetables that go bad in 2 days. Some hipsters eat healthy but most are more concerned about looking cool rather than health and lets face it Pabst - made from Rainier swill, & Donuts - made from the sugar in my ass, are not the healthiest of choices.

Apr 12, 2014

Zombie hipsters can't dance to Out Cast

Coachella is the new zombie hipster festival. The expensive 3 day festival is filled with dip shit, adolescent hipsters, who don't know what live shows are really about. "Haven't you like totally heard of this new trend?..like I hear it's like called DANCING!!" Get off your instagram, flickr, facebook and look at what's right in front of you - a legendary Hip-Hop group, Out Cast. I have been to an abundance of rad dance shows where the performers are pissed because I am the only one dancing. Give me burning man, or a Phish concert - at least people are alive at these shows.

Mar 24, 2014

Beard Transplants for pathetic men...whoops I mean boys

Portland boys, along with Brooklyn, Nashville, Austin hipster boys (noticed how I say boys) have stooped to the ultimate low. These fake tardholes take hair from their pubes, heads, butthairs and eyebrows then transplant it to their face to make a fake beard. Fake breast are covered up by clothes at least. This is a whole new level of fake fake fake. If you must fit in to the hipster scene then you must fit in your hair to your face, apparently. Beg that I don't EVER see one of you walking down the street because you will get a "hairful" from me!!

Jan 19, 2014

American Hipster

Jan 15, 2014

New Styles of Hipster are upon us.

In case you were wondering which one you are.

See article here

Urban Lumberhack style. Kill me now

1. Tight, starchy, uncomfortable pants - Allows zero mobility

2. Silly hipster hat - Protects head against nothing

3. Toy axe with dull blade - Just in case you want others to know you have never lifted an axe your entire life

6. Boots with too many damn laces - Good for stepping in shit

7. Itchy ass shirt - Because it matches that fucking hat

p.s. we still love you Matt


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