Aug 26, 2014

If Santa was a hipster...

If Santa was a hipster…

Santa is arguably a hipster already. He rocks a red vintage two-piece and an impressive white beard, but now that his image has been regurgitated and mass-produced across all forms of popular culture it may be time to step away from his mainstream look.

The designers at Christmas Connections have created an image of how Santa would look if he was a hipster.

Firstly, he needs to loose a few pounds. If Santa was a hipster he would probably be vegan so no more mince pies (unless they’re made with soy margarine). We all love a good beard, but in this case Santa needs a trip to the barber for a more sculpted handlebar moustache and goatee beard.

When it comes to clothes, his hat would be swapped for a beanie, which would cover his freshly coiffured undercut, and his two-piece would be replaced with V-neck t-shirt, tartan shirt and cut off skinny jeans, finished off with a pair of good sturdy Docs.

No hipster would be complete without the right accessories. Santa would upgrade his specs for some thick black rim glasses, and he would also have some body modifications such as ear stretchers and a couple of strategically placed tattoos.

Santa still has a job to do, delivering hand crafted presents from his handy manbag, but it’s thirsty work. In order to take the edge off, he samples the delights of some organic mulled wine.
If Santa was a hipster, he could keep this look all year round.


Jul 30, 2014

Show my junk skinny jeans


The best is the reaction from the girl. Guess your attempt to win females hearts are not working bra. Peacocking has a whole new meaning. Boy don't you know...you got a Camel Toe.

Hipster Hobby Generator


Check out the Hipster Hobby Generator - created by Dana Zemack. You know you want to. Do it. C'mon Do it. Do it.


Jun 27, 2014

What hipsters are calling their babies


Hipsters are trying to stay ahead of the norm by coming up with original ideas like BABY NAMES. Some of these names are just sad. Pandora?? How about name your baby Spotify and call it good. Then you think of Zane?? Who in their right mind would ever name their child Zane. Heh Heh.

See link here:

Apr 29, 2014

AN OPEN LETTER TO BEARDED HIPSTERS


Now this is my kind of woman. 
"There’s a whole generation running around looking like lumberjacks, and most of you can’t change a fucking tire."



Apr 28, 2014

Laura Gibson breaks Oregon Health Care website?


Oregonians spend 248 million tax dollars on a non-functioning website https://www.coveroregon.com/
and a Laura Gibson video that supposedly cost 3 million dollars. Looks like i need to learn Ukulele.

Apr 23, 2014

Hipster Bandit Finally Caught


The American Apparel Bandit is finally caught. I think you need a mask instead of a Fedora buddy.

Apr 16, 2014

22 Most Hipster Foods in your city


Hipsters love to stick to the basic four food groups. Pabst, donuts, coffee and Whole Foods vegetables that go bad in 2 days. Some hipsters eat healthy but most are more concerned about looking cool rather than health and lets face it Pabst - made from Rainier swill, & Donuts - made from the sugar in my ass, are not the healthiest of choices.


Apr 12, 2014

Zombie hipsters can't dance to Out Cast


Coachella is the new zombie hipster festival. The expensive 3 day festival is filled with dip shit, adolescent hipsters, who don't know what live shows are really about. "Haven't you like totally heard of this new trend?..like I hear it's like called DANCING!!" Get off your instagram, flickr, facebook and look at what's right in front of you - a legendary Hip-Hop group, Out Cast. I have been to an abundance of rad dance shows where the performers are pissed because I am the only one dancing. Give me burning man, or a Phish concert - at least people are alive at these shows.


Mar 24, 2014

Beard Transplants for pathetic men...whoops I mean boys


Portland boys, along with Brooklyn, Nashville, Austin hipster boys (noticed how I say boys) have stooped to the ultimate low. These fake tardholes take hair from their pubes, heads, butthairs and eyebrows then transplant it to their face to make a fake beard. Fake breast are covered up by clothes at least. This is a whole new level of fake fake fake. If you must fit in to the hipster scene then you must fit in your hair to your face, apparently. Beg that I don't EVER see one of you walking down the street because you will get a "hairful" from me!!

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