Branch

I. HIPSTER

A broad term for a "hip" person with non-individuality and who needs to be seen.


A. SCENESTERS - Indie fashionable sophisticates who show up to a venue only to be seen in a scene.

FASHION: Seaplane Dress, tight red shirt, Black rim Glasses, Fuckin dumb hat, Designer Jeans, Belt shoes
MUSIC: The Blow, Plants, Panther, Shaky Hands, Yacht, E*Rock, Copy
HANGOUTS: Holocene, Aalto Lounge, Ron Toms, Tiga Bar
RESTAURANTS: Juniors, Tin Shed
BOOK: Breakfast of Champions, Our band could be your life
QUOTE: "Don't You know"
TV SHOW: Sex in the City, The WIre, Dexter
FOOD: Pho'
DRINK: Mohito, Wine

B. BARISTA/FOLKSTERS - Coffee/Laptop nerds that live at Stumptown ALL FUCKIN DAY

FASHION: Beard, Unkept hair, button down western shirt, non-blue blue jeans that are tattered, Old Maid Dresses and no brazier, cowboy boots or loafers...sometimes s pair of tattered converse
MUSIC: Horse Feathers, Lock lomond, Nick Jaina, Laura Gibson, Shaky Hands
HANGOUTS: Stumptown and Fresh Pot
RESTAURANTS: Some Vegan Bullshit Restaurant
BOOK: Annie
QUOTE: Shhhh i am trying to look cool on my Macintosh laptop
TV SHOW: PBS, The Arts Channel
FOOD: Vegan Crap
DRINK: Triple shot Expresso

C. BIKE MESSENGERS - Bikers with those fucking stupid and dangerous FIXED GEAR bikes that hate on auto drivers because they are jealous that hey can't afford a car.

FASHION: Lil' bike hat, tight turtleneck shirt, shoulder bag with flare, cutofft/rolled up tight slacks, bike shoes that click when they try to "walk"
MUSIC: Talkdemonic, Please Step Out of the Vehicle, Alan Singley
HANGOUTS: Stumptown, Aalto Lounge, Stumptown and Stumptown
RESTAURANTS: Delta Cafe, Vegonapolis
BOOK: The one where Lee Armstrong should of died
QUOTE: Fuck you jerk you're not supposed to drive your car on the main roads because my gear is fixed and i cant stop in time when you stop at a red light.
TV SHOW: ipod and me
FOOD: Veggie Burgers and energy bar
DRINK: Triple Shot Expresso

D. MODSTERS - The most annoying fucks with cocky attitudes, pathetic low self-esteem and no clue about anything but shopping for clothes and cocaine.

FASHION: Died black or bleach fakeass blonde hair, huge sunglasses, White hat, Jean Jacket or a smelly dead animal fur coat, extremely tight leather or plaid pants to show off their small junk, unnecessary white or black tie, black shiny pointy boots
MUSIC: Nice Boys, Clorox Girls, Dandy Warhols
HANGOUTS: Tube, Dunes, Red Light, Clackamas Mall, Kellys Olympian
RESTAURANTS: Montage, Denny's, Mcdonalds
BOOK: None because they can't read
QUOTE: What does this reverb pedal do????
TV SHOW: American Idol, Desperate Housewives
FOOD: Cocaine, Vicodin
DRINK: Cocaine, Pabst, Cocaine

E. ROCKERS - Genuine fuckers who actually know how to pluck a guitar and are sometimes nice. Usually consumes Papst and smells like a sweatshop.

FASHION: Beards and more beards, long hair, ripped blue jeans
Shit Kickers, t-shirt with other bands or wolves
MUSIC: LKN, Red Fang, Quasi
HANGOUTS: Matador, Kellys Olympian, Tube, Shanghai Tunnel
RESTAURANTS: Miss Delta Cafe, Russel St BBQ
BOOK: Please Kill Me, The Dirt-Motley Crue
QUOTE: Pass the Pabst bro
TV SHOW: Greys Anatomy, Days of our lives
FOOD: Grease, Ribs, Pizza, Burgers
DRINK: Bourbon Neat, Pabst, Puke

F. HIP-HOPSTERS - Underground hip-hop dwellers waiting for the next chill ass beat to drop. Usually bright white skinned.

FASHION: Crooked Trucker Hat, Old school Nike high tops, Baggy pants, Dark Rimmed Glasses, Baseball shirts
MUSIC: DJ Tan't, Brokaw, Sleepyhead, A.E.D, Omega Watts, Life Savas
HANGOUTS: Holocene, Nightlight, Tiger Bar, Roseland
RESTAURANTS: Miss Delta
BOOK: Turntable Lab 101
QUOTE: yeah dawg that track was tight homey
TV SHOW: 24, Lost, Battle Star Galactica
FOOD: Burger and fries, fried chicken
DRINK: Gin and Tonic, Miller High Life

G. GOTHS - Tattoed black haired disgruntles that wear eyeliner and makeup to cover up their acne and pock marks.

FASHION: Black Hair, Black Eyeliner, Black Tattoos, Black lipstick, Black Shirt, Black Pants,
Black shoes, Lots of Chains
MUSIC: Stabbing Westward, Cure, NIN, Marylin Manson
HANGOUTS: Lovecraft and thats about it
RESTAURANTS: Hubers, Red Robin
BOOK: Interview with the Vampire, Death: The High Cost of Living
QUOTE: It cant rain all the time
TV SHOW: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Walking Dead, True Blood
FOOD: Spaghetti and blood
DRINK: Meth, Yagger and redbull

G. NORMSTER - Actual musicians and artists without the fashion getup but sometimes gets called a hipster because hipsters call eachother hipsters..

MUSIC: Quiet Countries, ((( in mono ))), Wilding, Paper Uppercuts
HANGOUTS: Beulahland, The Standard, Nightlight
RESTAURANTS: Holmans, Ole Ole
BOOK: Blade Runner, Breakfast of Champions
QUOTE: What the hell is that fucker wearing??
TV SHOW: Seinfield, Family Guy, Battlestar Gallactica
FOOD: BarbeQ Ribs, Mac n' Cheese
DRINK: Whiskey & Coke, Budweiser

II. DOUCHEBAG

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