THE DOUCHEBAG BRANCH


II. DOUCHEBAG - A hipsters worst enemy. A waste of a human. Usually wearing a white hat, Polo shirt with extended collar, silver necklace and spiked hair. (website coming soon)

A. TOOLS- Goofy ass lookin shitheads that are wasting space and breathing my air.

    LOOK: Spiked hair, White Polo shirt or unbuttoned striped longsleeve with sleeves rolled up, Chain necklaces, designer jeans and white sneakers
    MUSIC: Top 40 or Techno shit
    HANGOUTS: Barracuda, Dirty
     RESTAURANTS: Olive Garden, Dennys, McDonalds
    BOOK: Books are gay duuude
    QUOTE: pussy pussy pussy pussy??
    TV SHOW: Americas Top Model, American Idol
    FOOD: Big Mac, Chicken Burrito
    DRINK: Martini's, or Bud





B. MEATHEADS/GUIDOS - Muscle bound pieces of shit beefcakes that have only 3 things on their mind...Club Pussy, Steroids and themselves
    LOOK: Spiked hair, Tanktops, Gold Chain necklaces, shorts or stretch jeans to compinsate for their oversized beefcake legs
    MUSIC: Creed, Limp Biskit, POD
    HANGOUTS: Barracuda, Dantes
     RESTAURANTS: Arbys and gym food
    BOOK: Abs of steele
    QUOTE: I dont give a fuck dude??
    TV SHOW: The Workout channel
    FOOD: Energy Shake, bananas and steroids
    DRINK: Tons of beer dude





C . GUIDETTES - Big ass slutty foul mouth bitch version of a guido. Loves Douche Guidos only.

    LOOK: Tons of lipstick, poofy hair, skimpy outfits
    MUSIC: Who let the Dogs Out
    HANGOUTS: Starbucks, Mall, Clubs
     RESTAURANTS: Dennys
    BOOK: Whats a book?
    QUOTE: "Oh my god she is such a fucking cunt whore"
    TV SHOW: Dancing with the stars
    FOOD: Guido Cum
    DRINK: Guido Piss






D. WHIGGERS/CHAVS - White Suburbanite fucktards wanting to be Bruthas.
    LOOK: White Crooked Hat, Puberty mustache, Hoody that is 5 sizes too big, baggy ass pants that are tied by a belt at their knees
    MUSIC: Lil' John, Lil' Wayne or anything with Lil' in the front
    HANGOUTS: Fx Dance Club, Xone
     RESTAURANTS: KFC, Taco Bell
    BOOK: How to be black
    QUOTE: kno' wat em sain bro
    TV SHOW: Dog Pound the Snoop Dog Show
    FOOD: Fried Chicken, Arby-Q
    DRINK: Brass Monkeys






E. YUPPIES - Wealthy piles of shit who have cheated on their ugly wives or have stabbed their best friends in the back in order to reach "the top"

    LOOK: Spiked hair, Collar shirts with tie, Black Slacks or an entire business suite, Black loafers
    MUSIC: Any shitty music for Z-100 or Techno
    HANGOUTS: Any bar in the Pearl District
     RESTAURANTS: Henrys
    BOOK: Forbes Magazine
    QUOTE: I think george Bush was the best President of our time...don't you agree buffy...
    TV SHOW: CNN Stock market channel (whatever fucking channel that is)
    FOOD: Caviar, Lobster
    DRINK: Aged Wine or Budweiser





F . REDNECKS - Heavily armed conservative white racist illiterate wife beaters usually sportin a Mullet.

    LOOK: Mullet, Stash, trucker Hat, wifebeater tank top, torn blue jeans, no shoes or socks
    MUSIC: John Cougar Melancamp, Billy ray Cyrus
    HANGOUTS: Outhouse and Walmart
     RESTAURANTS: Cant Afford em
    BOOK: What?
    QUOTE: Hey woman get over here and skin this squirl for dinner
    TV SHOW: All My Children, Who wants to be a millionare
    FOOD: Hotdogs and road kill
    DRINK: Busch and Maddog






G. CUM DUMSTERS - Usually slutty female or shemales whorebags dressed to impress drooling meathead males.
    LOOK: Slutty Skirt, Low Cut shirt, Tits and Ass
    MUSIC: Any shitty music for Z-100 or Techno
    HANGOUTS: Any club that will let them in
     RESTAURANTS: Hooters
    BOOK: Whats a book?
    QUOTE: "Oh fuck yeah"
    TV SHOW: Americas Top Model
    FOOD: Man Cum
    DRINK: Man Piss