1. Are you offended by this Web site?

2. Do you SUCK at Djing, playing music, making art or doing anything creative?

3. Do you only talk about YOU?

4. Do you carry a pinned flared shoulder strap messenger bag (with a seatbelt clip) filled with scrap notebooks, coffee mugs and a broken pair of your grandpa's retro sunglasses?

5. Do you have horrible fashion style Bishops haricuts that mimmick your rednecks rivals (i.e. mullet, mohawk, rattail)?

6. Do you often say "You don't know who (band with 5 fans) is?"?

7. Do you own records put out by Hush, Audio Dregs, Holocene Music, Lucky Madison, Diss Company, Dismal City, Slow January?

8. Do you own brand new Converse shoes, Sparkling white cowboy boots, tight new blue jeans that makes your tiny junk look bigger, V neck shirts that show off 2 chest hairs?

9. Do you talk shit about your friends band when they are on stage?

10. Do you have SUPER LOW SELF ESTEEM and maintain a pathetic facade of confidence?

11. Do have a bike with no gears that you ride 1/2 a mile because the bike sucks?

12. Do have a Papst in your left hand right now?

13. Is the black die in your Mick Jagger haircut showing blonde roots?

14. Do you even know what a reverb pedal does or how to hold a paintbrush?

15. Do you have an array of unread dusty books neatly placed on your homemade shelf and pretend to be intellectual about literature...well because reading is cooler than video games?

16. Do you spend more time on mySpace than masterbating?

17. Are you thinking right now you might actually be a HIPSTER?